You just had a baby,
AREN’T YOU THRILLED?

What every mother hears, but not what every mother feels. And the moment you don’t feel it, feeling anxious, stressed, or overwhelmed instead - here comes the guilt and the shame.

My 2 year old son Leo and I love to explore sunflower fields, and we can’t resist a splash pad. He is such an affectionate, caring and joyful kid that just about any activity can turn into fits of laughter and fun. I couldn’t imagine my life without him. Except, sometimes, I can.

We’re smiling there, but we weren’t always so content together. Leo came into our world through a birth experience that I would honestly love to forget. I didn’t experience the rush of maternal love that everyone talked about. In fact, it took weeks to feel a connection with my baby, and even with myself, again.

You just had a baby, AREN’T YOU THRILLED?

Sure. But I am also scared and tired. I am displaced from what used to feel normal. Nothing is as it was before- not my mind, my body, my sleep - not my life. I am scared I will never find my way back to myself and amidst this angst, I feel the crushing weight of being this beautiful boys’ whole world.

This was my postpartum. Still is.

Through my journey to heal, I searched for opportunities to heal my mind and my soul and I discovered it in my passion for real motherhood photography. It was hard, but I forced myself to get into our family pictures. To capture this time with Leo, even when I felt so displaced. In fact, I even let myself be displaced in the photos. A hair, or 10, out of place.

As a photographer I have been trained to capture the moment and the memory. The beauty of the bride. The emotion of a first dance. I was trained to make them look perfect, for their perfect day. Motherhood is the imperfect. It is the day literally never unfolding as planned. It’s a mind, body and soul that is pushed and pulled in so many directions.

The mother in me wants to hide, to let everyone else be in the shot, and the photographer in me has the keen sense that Mom is “the shot.” She’s the heartbeat of this world and this moment. She has a story that deserves to be captured and remembered. She needs this confidence and this memory. She needs to see the connection between her and her child, because she doesn’t always feel it. She spends so much time doubting herself, questioning herself and wrestling with herself.

Photography is about connection. It is about looking forward so that we will be able to look back. So that we can remember and we can cherish our journey- messy moments and all. I believe in the power of sharing our honest stories with the world. When we share with others, we invite them into our most vulnerable spaces, and they come with love and empathy. We become a community. Just ask the small tribe of women that I clung to (and vice versa) at 2:00am with tears pouring down my face as we all tried to navigate a postpartum (and pandemic) world.

My passion is to be the photographer for those moms who need to feel part of the story and part of the world. We want to celebrate their connection with their child and their new journey, but don’t always feel they are worthy of being celebrated. Mom’s who are struggling, but have decided that the struggle won’t define them and they want the pictures to prove it.

Photographer. Mother. Personal Hype-(Wo)Man. That is me. I am here to disrupt the molds of memory and work with every mother to get her into the shot and capture for her, exactly the story that she wants to tell about her motherhood. The perfectly imperfect story that is her.